Sunday, April 27, 2008

Singing in the Tabernacle

As some of you may have read already, April and I sang in the Salt Lake City Tabernacle with composer and conductor, Rob Gardner in his work of Joseph Smith the Prophet this weekend. It was a wonderful experience. We sang for the prophet on Friday night and got a standing ovation.
Another fun part of the experience was singing all the professional singers (which we are not, but April has high aspirations to be). Jordan Bluth was one of the soloists. I love his cd! April laughed at me because I couldn't wait to meet him. She rolled her eyes and told me that I was silly. I made her come with me as moral support and introduced her and myself. He shook both of our hands, as I told him that I had to meet him because he was my new favorite tenor, even over Josh Groban. He said, "wow," and then put his hand on my shoulder, smiling as he left, having to run because Rob called for all the soloists to meet with him right then. April clearly was reveling in what she thought should be my great embarrassment. I wasn't embarrassed. I joked that I would never wash my right hand or shoulder again. He is rather dashing, and what a voice!

Rob Gardner is such a gifted man, too. He is truly a genius. This is the third time in five years that I have performed with him in the Spire Chorus. It is wonderful that it is a volunteer choir, because I may have been too chicken to audition if it had been otherwise. But most of the volunteers are incredibly talented singers.

April and Terry with Rob

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I Lost 4 Pounds in Two Weeks

I am so excited. I got on the scales and was down another 2 pounds. I have struggled at this weight for the last year. At one point, I lost six pounds (last October) after counting calories for three weeks and kept if off until January when I put 8 back on even though I was exercising very regularly. So I had almost resigned myself that I was going to stay at this weight. I joked that if I had lived during the Renaissance my beautiful body would be preserved in the art of the time. I would be included in Michael Angelo's murals.
But after everything I've been doing since my 44th birthday, I've lost 4 pounds! I don't have the cravings for the carbs! It is terrific! I just had to share. I only want to lose 11 more to be at my pre-Katrina weight. Sweet!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Emotional Freedom Technique

EFT is a relatively new therapy that involves tapping on acupuncture sights for emotional issues of all kinds. When I was searching for something to help my hormone problems I linked to it through the Women to Women website. Since finding out about it, I had two sessions with Dr. Arden Compton at Abundant Health in Brigham City. I was quite skeptical at first, but I've found many testimonials from people that have had great success with it. I even found that the Discovery Channel did a show on using EFT for weight-loss. Well known Dr. Andrew Weil of University of Arizona uses a similar method for food cravings.

Because I spilled my guts in my last post about my depression this spring, I want everyone to know I feel incredibly better than I did one month ago. I don't know if it is the EFT, the better diet, the more consistent exercise, the new vitamins that I'm on, the fact that it is spring and there is more sunlight, or all of the above. Monday morning I found myself looking forward to work, to singing in Joseph Smith the Prophet,
and to starting school in the fall. I was thinking about all the possibilities for my future and felt so excited about life! I stopped, amazed. I realized that I hadn't felt that positive about things in a balanced and whole way for two and a half years, since my personal Katrina (which happened the very same week).

I have tapped through a few of my issues since Saturday. It has been surprising where the sessions have led. I didn't realize that I have felt so inferior to a particular person in my life. I know that this person doesn't feel that I am inferior to them, but that it is my own issue. It is very interesting, to say the least. I am still skeptical, but not as much as I was because of the way I feel. I feel lighter, more capable than I have in so long. I don't know quite what to think. Even if it is placebo, I don't care because I feel better this week. And it is the week, if you know what I mean.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Depression and Swine Hormones

The last few months I've been experiencing some hormonal and seasonal related depression. I usually have kept this at bay with consistent exercise, good vitamins and amino acids, and learning something that I'm excited about.

I was doing well until the first of February when I cut the fleshy tip of my thumb off and started working again. That was the week. I dragged myself to our sales training for three days. I didn't want to be there! I wanted to be at the gym, dancing. I wanted to be at school finishing my open-enrollment computer class, and enrolled in school for fall. I wanted to be anywhere, but there. My thumb was hurting so I couldn't exercise even if I wanted to. I had to be at the sales training. I had committed to working another season. It is a great job, and I know it, so I felt guilty. My boss, (my sister) knew that I was thinking about more schooling and told me that I wasn't obligated to work for her. But I had committed, not only to her and my sales manager, but to my husband and myself. And it kept snowing and snowing and snowing. It all seemed to go downhill from there.

I took my computer test on Microsoft Word as soon as sales training was over, and set school aside until June when our sales campaign is over. But it seemed I had a mental block. The phone at work weighed a hundred pounds. I was having anxiety and guilt. But I started. Slowly. I called my best clients, and had some success. I remembered that I really like the people with whom I work. I was feeling somewhat better, but still dragging. My negative thoughts were getting the best of me. My heart wasn't in it. It felt as if I were carrying 100 lbs to work each day. I spent hours reorganizing my contracts, and checking my email (OK, it wasn't really hours). It kept ringing in my head, "don't want to be here, not a career, can't do it, heart's not in it, have to do it, have to do it, I'm committed, I'm not a flake," and so it went for a couple of weeks.

My emotions were right on the surface. I cried at work, about work. (I can honestly say that that is a first!) I had a confrontation with my sales manager (who is not my sister) about the fact that he didn't give me any of the good sales leads.

Description of said confrontation:
Me, smiling, and arrogant, as I handed him a renewed contract, "My last client just increased his ad by $2000!"
"That is great, kid!" looking at my contract.
"Do you know how I got that client last year?" I said, proudly. "I got it from the white lead sheets, which I didn't get any of this year."
"How would you know that?" he said, surprised, and puzzled.
"I saw that the others had them and I didn't. When did you hand them out? Were you thinking that I didn't deserve any because I am only part-time and in school, too?"
He paused, thinking, "I honestly don't remember, but it could have been something like that. I did it at the beginning of the campaign. Did you lose sleep over it?"
"No, I just was wondering how you expect me to increase my sales without any good leads." It was matter of fact. I didn't feel emotional. I felt better. It was out in the open. I was part-time. It isn't my career of choice. I really didn't want more work, more hours. The weight had lifted. (I know what you are thinking, big, scary confrontation, NOT!)
I remembered, I like my job. I'm good at it! I am an asset to my sister's company, if only for one more season, or if I decide to stay for many. I can pick away at my other dream education in the summer and fall, and enjoy the journey. The guilt is gone! I am committed for this season, and it is good.

Work has been so much better. Life has been better . . . except when those swine horrormones change. I have violent, scary nightmares for a couple nights around day 14, and feel withdrawn, sluggish, and worthless days 20-25, and then achy for days 1-3. In March on day 14 I was crying, feeling hopeless, and in the depths of despair and everything was GOOD! Logically, I knew it was good. I could spend days, even weeks counting my blessings. I was exercising some, but not enough and it was still cold, overcast and snowing. I knew I had to do something! In a 24 day cycle I had 11 days that I felt off! That is almost half of month feeling yucky!

I googled PMS and found Dr. Northrup's women to women website. I ordered her wellness program for my birthday. I started exercising 4 days a week. I have started a better diet, lower in refined carbs. I started taking the prescription of Prometrium (bio-identical progesterone) that my doctor prescribed in November that I had only tried for 2 months. I linked over to a website on Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) that Dr. Northrup's site said can help with health issues. I called Arden Compton, ND and set up an appointment. (more on this later)

My last cycle was much better. I'm excited about life again.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Free Book, Check Here

I was linking through the wonderful world of blogs and found out that J. Scott Savage will give away an advanced reader's copy of his new book Farworld if a blogger will be on his book blog tour, review his book after reading it and have a Q and A with him for a post. The only thing is . . . I have to have an active blog to do it. First, I need to post more often, and then it may be active. But, I can't even get my kids to read my blog! Hmmm. It is a problem.