I Am an Addict

My name is Terry and I am an addict. My family has known for years that I have many addictive behaviors. I'm not going to list them because most of them are obvious to those around me. But finally recognizing this addition completely took me by surprise.

Brace yourselves.

I am a scale addict. That is right! For years I have been weighing myself almost daily. I did miss a few weeks here and there two years ago when we were moving. I actually lost weight because I was so busy that I forgot to eat(and had some anxiety). But when we got moved and somewhat settled, the weight started creeping back on. I went from being 5-10 lbs "too thin" according to my family to again being 15 lbs over weight in about 5 months. I was only weighing about once a week at first, but as the numbers on the scales climbed (in spite of any exercising or healthy eating on my part), my need to weigh everyday took over.

Only after talking to a couple truly healthy friends of mine, did one of them tell me that I was too focused on what I weighed and not focused enough on my overall health. She told me to not weigh myself for two months and focus on being healthy by good eating and exercising. I reacted to the advice quite strongly. My face told her that I couldn't even fathom it. She then said that I was addicted to weighing myself. She is right.

But I really don't want to go cold turkey because I'm counting calories and exercising everyday to lose 10 pounds by October 1st. So I committed to not weighing for a week. I started today. I didn't weigh. It was hard not too, but I didn't. I can see it getting harder each day. I'm going to have to use some EFT for this one!

So the focus is now on health. Mind, body, and spirit.

A side note, I bought a mountain bike today to save gas and get some exercise. I'm going to work up to riding it up to school. I rode a mile uphill without stopping today and 3 miles down. School is 2 miles uphill. It might kill me, but if it doesn't I'll be stronger!

I Lost 4 Pounds in Two Weeks

I am so excited. I got on the scales and was down another 2 pounds. I have struggled at this weight for the last year. At one point, I lost six pounds (last October) after counting calories for three weeks and kept if off until January when I put 8 back on even though I was exercising very regularly. So I had almost resigned myself that I was going to stay at this weight. I joked that if I had lived during the Renaissance my beautiful body would be preserved in the art of the time. I would be included in Michael Angelo's murals.
But after everything I've been doing since my 44th birthday, I've lost 4 pounds! I don't have the cravings for the carbs! It is terrific! I just had to share. I only want to lose 11 more to be at my pre-Katrina weight. Sweet!

Emotional Freedom Technique

EFT is a relatively new therapy that involves tapping on acupuncture sights for emotional issues of all kinds. When I was searching for something to help my hormone problems I linked to it through the Women to Women website. Since finding out about it, I had two sessions with Dr. Arden Compton at Abundant Health in Brigham City. I was quite skeptical at first, but I've found many testimonials from people that have had great success with it. I even found that the Discovery Channel did a show on using EFT for weight-loss. Well known Dr. Andrew Weil of University of Arizona uses a similar method for food cravings.

Because I spilled my guts in my last post about my depression this spring, I want everyone to know I feel incredibly better than I did one month ago. I don't know if it is the EFT, the better diet, the more consistent exercise, the new vitamins that I'm on, the fact that it is spring and there is more sunlight, or all of the above. Monday morning I found myself looking forward to work, to singing in Joseph Smith the Prophet, and to starting school in the fall. I was thinking about all the possibilities for my future and felt so excited about life! I stopped, amazed. I realized that I hadn't felt that positive about things in a balanced and whole way for two and a half years, since my personal Katrina (which happened the very same week).

I have tapped through a few of my issues since Saturday. It has been surprising where the sessions have led. I didn't realize that I have felt so inferior to a particular person in my life. I know that this person doesn't feel that I am inferior to them, but that it is my own issue. It is very interesting, to say the least. I am still skeptical, but not as much as I was because of the way I feel. I feel lighter, more capable than I have in so long. I don't know quite what to think. Even if it is placebo, I don't care because I feel better this week. And it is the week, if you know what I mean.